Snow Birds

       For at least ten years now, I have had the desire to become a, "Snow Bird." For those of you not familiar with the term, it is when one moves to an area with a warmer climate when the climate they are in begins to turn cold. Then when the area one left begins to get warm again one moves back. In effect, you don't experience the cold or SNOW, much like birds that fly south for the winter. Why do I want to be a Snow Bird, simply put, I hate the cold and snow. And here, in the northeast, we get both. There was a time when I enjoyed the snow. As a kid and then, later on when my son was young and we had fun with snow activities. He's older now and off sledding on his own when he wants to and I, I stare out the windows in a pair of old, gray sweat pants wishing for Spring and Summer. The winter months also affect me emotionally. The frequent gray sky, lack of color and limited daylight are morbidly depressing. I am reluctant to leave the warmth of my home and prefer to just sit in a my big, cozy chair. When forced to abandon this cave like environment, I have to endure the minimum of a half hour of prep time. Draping myself in layers of arctic clothing I have purchased over the years. Only then can I leave the house but, with extremely restricted mobility and the inability to bend myself enough to get into my frozen car. It's lonely outside during the cold weather. Most people stay indoors and only venture out to go to work and take care of necessary business. 
     However, when it is warm and sunny and the daylight lasts far into the evening, spirits rise. People are out and about, busy planning or engaging in, outdoor, activities. Everywhere you look there is color bursting, from flowers, trees or the clothes people are wearing. People are walking along the streets. Restaurants have tables set up outside and people flock to beaches and lakes. The house becomes a stop off place where you change from day to night clothes and also, an occasional place to grab some food. Everyone seems happier and life appears to have returned. There is what appears to be more energy in the air and people themselves seem to have more energy. I know I do and I am far more willing to be active.
     So, it comes down to spending half of each year sitting with the Grim Reaper and the other half riding on the back of life. I no longer want to spend my year this way. Not when there is an option and that option is to spend the entire year riding on the back of life. So I envy the birds who fly south for the winter thus escaping the cold.  But I also bow to them for they have slapped me in the face with the alternative.

Always Look On the Bright ( and colorful ) Side Of Life

I've always been a person who tries to focus on the positive. I try to keep a positive attitude by chosing to see the positive side of life and situations and by doing my best to project a positive feeling to others. I truly believe that mental health is directly correlated with attitude...although I also believe, with matters of mental health, there are many more intervening factors.
      There is a great amount of beauty in this world and if people would chose to surround themselves with more of it, within a short time, it would be very difficult for the negative energy to enter.  Some photographers like to photograph the dark side of existence. While their photos can make for very interesting images, they also can bring about sadness. I find there's enough sadness in this world so why burn  more into people's synapses. I've seen way to much of the dark side of human nature and from personal experience, it can drag you into a hole that is hard to crawl out of. So, I have stopped creating Black and White photographs and chose to photograph images filled with bright and brilliant colors. I find that color makes me happy. Gray makes me sad. These days it is very hard to escape all, "the negative waves" out there ( Oddball, Kelly's Heroes ). The media seems to have chosen the Dark Side and makes money by filling peoples' heads with what's wrong with this world. Let's face it, the world isn't in the greatest of states right now but if we continue to throw logs on this bonfire, I do believe we will be contributors to our own demise. Now, none of us really wants that.
      So, try to bring in to your life, more and more positives each day. Turn off the Television. Listen to Music. Put down the newspaper and pick up a camera, a paint brush or even a crayon. Watch the kids play in the park or on the beach. When you're outside, walking about, don't forget to turn around... and also, look up. Go to Carvel on Wednesday and treat yourself to a Sundae and give the free one to a perfect stranger. And, at the end of the day, treat yourself to one of nature's greatest gifts...go to a quiet place and watch the sun set.

The Holiday Season and Christmas Time

     I like the Holiday season...it has always been fun...even when I was growing up and my parents didn't have much money, they always tried to do their best for my brother and I. Being born into an Italian family there was always plenty of food and, having to visit both of my parents family's resulted in the equivalent of a two to three day Viking Feast...Gifts were exchanged, my father was Santa Claus and every one had fun. I'm sure there was some stress for the women who all of the shopping and cooking but they never showed it. Quiet frankly, I don't think their stress level was ever to high during the Holidays...In retrospect, I don't recall seeing any signs or behaviors exhibited by them indicative of being over stressed. True, these were different times but so what, the Holidays are what you make of them...In the past people ruled the media...you watched TV if you wanted to... you listened to the radio if you wanted too. There wasn't any Black Friday. Now people seemed to have let the media become their masters. Shop, Shop Shop...is all you see on the TV and even the news...Colorful advertisements, images of people flooding the Malls...a constant chatter in your head..."we have to get so and so these gifts and the stores might run out"..."So and so are coming over, will I have enough food," This is not what the Holiday Season is about...My favorite aunt used to say, " Charity Starts At Home." Now it wasn't that she didn't give to others but before everyone else was considered, she took care of her own family. There is nothing wrong with that...and if it is only your own family that you can take care of, then that's fine...there shouldn't be any guilt, pressure or illnesses precipitated by the Holiday Season. There should only be fun...and enjoying those that are around you. Saying, "Have a Nice Holiday" or "Happy Holidays," to others should be the most pressure you have to put on you self...So, I say, Have a Nice Holiday...with an emphasis on Nice.

Sometimes it's good to let a cigar be a cigar

For every why there is a because and for every because there is a why and this cycle can be endless...I can usually stop it by analyzing the why, but some times things are so amazing that it is just to pleasurable to stop the why by analysis, and trust me, this is not easy as it is a big part of my being.) Some occurrences, happenings, incidents or behaviors I find to be enjoyable, just appreciating them for what they are. I’ve watched myself move, gradually over the years, from a person who was a total non-believer in random occurrences or events that did not have any precipitating factors, to, a person who is now willing to disregard such factors and just let things be. While I have not become a believer in Divine Intervention I have eased up on Predetermination.

     A good friend of mine recently got married and I couldn’t be more happy for her. She had her dream wedding, she is happy with her husband and they are moving along in a positive direction. Now several years back this friend had been devastated by a broken relationship. One that was moving along nicely in the direction of engagement and marriage. She always sounded and seemed very happy when we spoke. Then, WHAM, out of nowhere, the guy breaks up with her and she was left with her world turned upside down and inside out. We talked many times and being the bright girl that she is, she did what was necessary to get through this incredibly rough time. Now here she is several years later, happily married to someone else.

     In the past, such a situation was like honey to a bear for me. I would not have been able to resist analyzing every thing that transpired as well as personality factors and behaviors that might have led to this outcome. However, I did not do any of this and it was not that hard to resist. I have just sat back and enjoyed the way things worked out. I am finding great comfort in this new way. To experience things as they are can be less stressful. While I will never entirely give up  analyzing behaviors and situations, this personal evolution does seem more balanced for me at this time.

 Balance/Moderation the complements of Why/Because

The Zen Of Clamming, Active Meditation

        The other day I decided to go clamming. I had been putting this activity off, even though it is one that I enjoy, only because there have been newer activities I wanted to do, like sailing. The battle between gastronomic pleasure and free spirit continued for a while but on this day, even though it was a good day for sailing, gustatory pleasure won out. So off I went, down the road to my favorite clamming spot. Now when it comes to how I clam I would have to describe it as, Old School. Bucket, tire tube, rope and my bare feet. I enjoy clamming this way. It is the way father taught me as a kid and it is the way I have taught my son. I also like clamming this way because it minimizes greed. Many people when clamming for personal reasons do so with a rake. I have seen these rakes getting bigger and bigger every year. The rakes yield more clams and as with many acquisition activities, the more one gets the more one wants. So, for me, by clamming the way I do, searching with my feet scrapping along the bottom and digging each and every clam with my foot, I am preserving a family tradition as well as doing my part in preserving the clam population. After all, when I come back next year I want there to be clams.  This method of mine is also good exercise for my legs and tires me out within a couple of hours which also limits how many clams I end up with. There is one other important, personal reason why I enjoy clamming in this manner and that is, it requires a great amount of focusing to get a clam. In order to get a clam I have to carefully scrape the bottom of the sea so as not to cut my feet on shells and other objects lying about. Then, when I feel an object I have to determine whether or not it is a clam and not a rock. I do this by feeling around with my toes for shape and texture. Finally, once I determine that it is a clam, the digging with my toes begins. Now I am right side dominant so most of the effort is done with my right foot. However, I have been using my left foot more often in the past few year as it slows me down and brings my attention more into the activity. Some times the digging is easy but often it is not. Once most of the sand is moved away, which if not done fast enough will come right back, it's time for me to to use my toes to start wedging the clam out. Though little clams are not that difficult, those commonly known as Little Necks, the larger ones, Cherry stones and Quahogs present with great resistance.  Pushing at an upward angle with a lot of force eventually releases the lock the clam has to the sea bed. Here is where it gets tricky. But before I tell you why let me say add that If the tide is high, which it was on this day, most of my body is in the water. Often up to my chin. As a result, I am constantly working against buoyancy. I have learned over the years to try to maintain my toes curled under the clam during the non pushing stage so as to keep my foot from floating upward. As I said, once the clam is released it gets tricky. This is because now I have to ease the clam on to the top of my right foot with my left foot and place it  just right so I can then lift my foot up without the clam falling off. Current and keeping very steady are variables which I always have to be conscious of. I then lift my foot with the clam on top high enough until I can grab it with my extended right arm and hand. My foot is usually about waste high when it meets my hand and then, "Got Ya" I say to myself with a smile. The complete act from when identifying a clam until it is in my hand can be anywhere between 1  minute and 5. If it is more than 5, I stop, bow to the clam and move on.
      This personal preference for clamming, which usually lasts about two hours, is probably one of the most satisfying meditation experience's I can engage in. To be acutely focused for this length of time rids my mind entirely of all other thoughts. Being almost completely submersed in water, yet buoyant, brings about tactile sensory deprivation which enhances the experience. Finally, there is the repetition that is so important to meditation. Throughout my life, since my early teen years, I have engaged in passive, resting still, meditation. This has been helpful during times of school, work or home related stress.  Even though I don't try to rid my mind of thoughts, they still come in and so most of the time, passive meditation is good  for about 10 to 15 minutes for me .

      I have come to calling meditations such as clamming, "Active Meditation." Active meditation seems to work better for me. While talking with a good friend on the telephone not long ago I had mentioned that I find certain activities more meditative than passive meditation and, upon hearing this he expressed that he too finds this true for himself. I am sure that there are many more people who have found active mediation to be better for them and I am happy I am not alone.

Betta Change?

Say hello to Sigmund Too. He is a Betta Fish, otherwise known as a “Siamese Fighting Fish.” These colorful, flowing fins and tail fish are decedents of less elaborate looking fish that live in the rice paddies of Thailand and Cambodia. The males are aggressive and if two are put in a tank together they will fight to the death. Females are said to not be aggressive although people have reported that they have seen the females fight with other females. I’m not big on the fighting thing so I only have one. Bettas live 2-4 years. I acquired Sigmund Too about a year ago after the first Sigmund died and an appropriate period of morning passed. He was a pet and as with any pet, they become part of the family. Sigmund Too lives in the same bowl as Sigmund did with the same gravel. His bowl has a plastic plant because, when I got him, his little plastic box tank came with a small tree and he liked lying under it. As Sigmund Too grew, he no longer could fit under it and my wife felt bad for him. So I put a fake plant in and he seems to enjoy it. Often times I will catch him resting or sleeping on the leaves. It’s not a big bowl but he seems to enjoy the small space and he hasn’t displayed any behaviors that would suggest discontent. Aside from the colors and the flowing fins I like that Sigmund Too responds when I come near the bowl. He quickly swims to the top and waits for food. Although this is most likely basic conditioning, it is a behavior that usually does not occur with other fresh water tank fish. As anyone who has ever had freshwater fish in a tank knows, the fish don’t even know you have your face up to the glass. Mostly, they just swim back and forth and eat the food placed in the tank as it magically floats down past them. I tend to lean towards the intelligent life forms. Sigmund Too’s tank does not have, or require a filter for the water. All that is necessary is to change two thirds of the water once a month and wash the gravel and plant. Low maintenance. Something else I like about Betta Fish. As I said earlier, Sigmund Too came after the first Sigmund. It is very important to the survival of these fish that when cleaning the bowl and changing the water that a third of the water they have been living in remains. It seems that there are necessary bacteria in the old water that the fish requires. Bacteria? We were always told it was bad. I think what might have led to the first Sigmund’s premature demise is that I did not leave enough of the old water in on the last water change. So this change protocol is extremely vital to the Betta’s survival.
     Both Sigmund’s have kept me very conscious of how necessary change is and that it can be a good thing. Changing ones surroundings, environment and the way one does things can bring about feelings of refreshment, renewal and awareness. I have also seen how growth, good growth, can come from change. What I have also become more aware of is that drastic change is not always a good thing. It is risky. It reduces the chances of survival. Keeping some of the old when making a change brings about a level of comfort that reduces stress and makes the change more tolerable. When people change their residence they usually bring much of the furniture from the previous house. When people change jobs they pack up the items from their desk or locker or wall and bring them to their new job.
     Recently I retired from my job. Being aware that retirement can be a very stressful change I have made an effort to reduce that stress by keeping up with the literature, consulting with people about their school age children and remaining in contact with many of the people I worked with. This plan seems to be working because, so far I have been enjoying myself and welcoming the changes that have come so far with retirement.
So, while I continue to change the water in Sigmund Too’s bowl, I am always conscious of the, Water Change Protocol.

My Little Chickadee

So, Here is a Chickadee that came to feed at my newest bird feeder. What I enjoy about Chickadees is that they have paradoxical behavior. Unlike most other birds, that flee with the slightest sound or presence of people, Chickadees will come close to you. I have even been told that you can get them to eat food from your hand. I have tried this but I need to do it consistently in order to get them to trust me. If you don't have a bird feeder I urge you to get one. Bringing birds to your yard can be very enlightening, as well as calming. You will feel better and of course, so will the birds.